HEY! Do you want to feel SO ENERGETIC?
Energy drinks for people who need GRATUITOUS AMOUNTS OF ENERGY!!
Sound the alarm! You’re going to be UNCOMFORTABLY ENERGETIC!
SPORTS! AAAAAAH! You’ll be good at them!
SCIENCE! ENERGY! SCIENCE! ENERGY! Electrolytes! Powerlytes! Turbolytes! More lytes than YOUR BODY HAS ROOM FOR!
You’ll be so fast mother nature will be like “slooooow dooooown” and you’ll be like “screw you!” and kick her in the face with your ENERGY LEGS!
You’ll have so much energy! AAAAAAH! Just running ALL THE TIME!
Power running! Power lifting! Power sleeping! Power dating! Power eating! Power laughing! Power spawning babies! You’ll have so many babies! 400 BABIES!
Hey! Go with a sure thing! Don’t gamble on your energy!
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